This note is the result of being subjected to the constant cribbing of some parents. ( I always manage to land myself amongst the wrong people ! )It can be highly irritating having to shut up when you know they’re wrong and they’re not looking at it right. So here’s to them and all the others.
You often complain you’re kids aren’t talking to you as much as they used to ( which was probably when they were 2 or 4) or as much as you’d like them to. You often feel they prefer their friends over you to share their lives with.
You often feel you’re losing control and begin to panic. As a result, you resort to some very stupid measures , as a means to ‘feel’ the power.
There’s a reason why kids turn to friends . It’s generally because you’re NOT one. We all have an internal image of what a parent should be. We can all see a picture form in our heads with all the traits attached. We have the same for our friends too. And this image , of friends, is more comforting. Why ?
Friend’s don’t judge. Parents do. And this is the prime reason. (on my list at least).
We don’t need you to tell us we were wrong. We’re pretty good at figuring it out ourselves. And we’ve generally done that much, when we turn up at your door. That’s the reason we’re there !! We expect you to tell us it’s going to be ok, we expect a hug, we expect comforting. We also expect being grounded and punished. But something reasonable. ( Reasonable – no trips for a month, extra chores for a year, less pocket money and so on. UN-reasonable- snooping around the room every single day, reading his diary and pretending you didn’t, supervising every single phone call or visit from friends. )
Friends don’t give us the ” we sacrificed..” lecture.
Parents have a horrible habit of giving their children a long speech, that generally sums up all the things they’ve done for them since they were born. That’s sick ! Let’s make one thing clear- Having a child, is like getting a tattoo on your face. You need to be certain you’re ready for the commitment. ( Regardless of whether we were wanted or just random accidents). You’re not doing your kid a favor by doing whatever you’re doing. You’re doing your JOB. So cut the speech !
Friends keep secrets. Parents discuss it. Not cool.
When your kid tells you something in confidence, he expects you to maintain confidentiality. Confidentiality includes not discussing it with your partner in his presence !! IT also means , not discussing it EVER.
“I know what you did last summer”
Parents forgive. But never forget. In fact, they make sure their kid doesn’t forget either. Every time there’s a tiny problem, they dig up all of their kids’ past problems and sins. It’s not comforting in the least to know your mom never forgave you for ruining her vegetable patch or hiding your mark sheet in the laundry. Not cool at all parents !
Friends give solutions. Parents over-react.
Our friends have the heavenly ability to analyze a situation and give us a solution that sounds just right. (Stress-Sounds ) Parents on the other hand, scream, yell, fake a heart attack and completely worsen it for you.
Parents don’t know ‘f-u-n-‘ . Friends do.
Parents have all the burdens on the planet. We know. We respect that. But we still need to have fun. Which is something you guy’s just don’t get. The definition of the word changes for the kid. Sometimes every day, sometimes through the stages of his life.
This is becoming exhausting. There are a hundred different reasons I could come up with, but just don’t have the energy to go on.
So parents, your kids love you. They may not say it, they might in fact, say the exact opposite..but they do love you. Expression is something that we all learn differently and at our own sweet pace. Some of us never learn it at all. Others learn it all wrong.Schools never teach us the most essential of stuff, now do they ? 😉
Disclaimer : this note does NOT reflect the writer’s personal views on the subject. It’s simply an impulsive reaction to the day’s events. < wicked smile>
photo courtesy:parentslifetumbler
© Krisheaven
Monster in heaven 