If words could be murdered
and I could watch them die
I’d shoot ‘never’ right now
and later stab ‘goodbye’.
I’d burn ‘misunderstanding’
and toss into the flames
a list of all her doings
and all the victims claimed
I’d bury ‘regret’ alive
and dig one for friend ‘fear’
They’d like to be together
after living all these years
‘Helpless’ would be tortured
most brutally of all
‘doubt’ would be hanged
or free to take a fall
©krisheaven
Picture courtesy: pinterest
Met an Italian guy who’s been in love with this girl for the past 25 years, but never said anything. Today, she’s married to a man who’s become the Italian’s friend. She still does not know.
I met the lady and her husband too. She told me that she loved the Italian 25 years ago..and still does. She’s wondering if he ever felt the same way about her. They don’t talk about it. They’ve all just been neighbors all their lives.
I asked her why she’s still with her husband if she loved the neighbor all along ? She smiled. These were her exact words. ” 25 years ago, I made a choice. I never knew if ***** loved me the way I loved him. I never said anything. Then I met my husband, who was well behaved and well off. Everyday since, I make a choice…every morning, I tell myself that I have to live with my choice. It’s not enough; but it will do. ”
Being me, I couldn’t help but ask, ” Do you regret what you did ? Do you regret what you’re doing ? to both of them ? ” She was surprised that I asked. She thought for a while and then replied, ” Yes. Every minute of every day. Don’t get me wrong, **** is a good husband; but….if I can go back in time and change things, I would change so much that it would be a different world altogether.”
I spoke to the Italian again. “You should tell her. She should know “I said, my eyes all wet and teary. He thought about it for a moment, then said ” If I say anything now, she’ll KNOW that she made a mistake. At the moment; she just THINKS she did. The pain of knowing will be too great to bear.The pain of thinking, well…it just pops in and out when you’re thinking real hard. Nothing a drink can’t cure. ”
I stood there, not knowing how, what ,when, why or where from I ended up in this story. Running into strangers and giving them a piece of our lives is easier said than done. But it happens…in little ways…in the most unexpected of places. Sharing lives and stories with the people we meet, is a bitter -sweet thing.
It’s been 2 years now. I have no clue where any of them are. But they are frequently in my thoughts.
©krisheaven
picture courtesy: sunaina patnaik
Looking back at life,I’m engulfed by an ocean of regret. All the things I always wanted to do, but never did because people disapproved. Every little one of those dreams and desires sacrificed…bring up the pain and sorrow buried deep down somewhere. Time does not heal pain. It only teaches you to live with it.
Do I have another chance? Not really.. the people still disapprove…and the people I wanted to do things with, are not available or as free as they used to be. And its not the destination but the company that matters to me.
I don’t want it with anyone else but the people I dreamt those dreams with…no one values and appreciates a dream like the dreamer….so…that’s best left there I guess…if nothing else, it’ a reminder of dreams someone once had….and that will have to suffice.
The most painful part though, is having to still give up on dreams….having to tell yourself…”you don’t get to dream…and if you do, they will remain so for eternity”.
© krisheaven
photo courtesy: notable quotes
Monster in heaven 